What to do When Siblings Fight



Sometimes siblings will have a little fight that they have to clear up. Some fights are small, while others can be much bigger and can really create havoc. As a parent, it can be beneficial to help your children work out their differences without having to go to war with them. Here are some ways for them to work it out.

1. Involve them in the problem- If you can, involve them as you explain to them why it is they are fighting and give them the chance to work it out with the other. At first, it can appear to be quite tedious, but it teaches them how you will resolve it.

2. Sit down and calmly explain- Have your children sit down and explain to them why they should really be friends with the other. By involving them in the problem you can make it easier for them to be able to work it out.

3. Let them vent- To get out their frustrations have them vent to you. Because you care about the other children you will be the one listening when they are in need of support and need someone to believe in them. In cases where they can’t settle their differences have them come back to you and you can work it out together.

4. Peacemaking- Help your children put this whole thing out in the open by having them give a warning each day. If Once a week has gone by without any issues have them come to a neutral setting to say what’s true and what’s not.

5. The two consistent way to do this is to alternating their focus each day- begin each day by blaming the other sibling for negative behavior or bad attitudes. Eventually, they will realize they could change their behavior.

In some cases, it can take far longer than creating piles of anger to put things right. If you need them to make peace with each other, it may be best to wait for a few weeks. After they’ve both worked it out learn from the experience and continue to improve your relationship with them all together. It is in their best interests to avoid pitting them against each other at this time.

Further Tips:

1- In cases where there has been a physical fight you can suggest to siblings that if they see one another they should just stop that immediately. Encourage them not to return to it at all.

2 – If you think that your child may potentially be witnessing a fight, ask them to confide to you how things have been going. This can cause them to shut down and come to you for advice instead of continually bringing it up to you. If you are concerned that it may be a scene or toy they are being exposed to. Talk to your child about it and make them feel comfortable to come and talk with you.

3 – Always encourage your children to work things out themselves. There is a time for one to try and work things out with another child. However, once the fighting has started the only way a child has to stop bad behavior is to give it up or “put them in time out”. Children are naturally allowed to misbehave. However, to build up their muscle, they will need to have a little practice. It is normal for a child to get angry, frustrated, or upset. If they feel that the other sibling isn’t getting the attention that they are getting or isn’t receiving enough attention on their own.


If you need your children to do something that you don’t think they should be doing- you can step in. At the very least your children need to know that you are on your side. In cases where they are playing with other children, they need to know that you believe in them and are not against other children. As long as they keep trying- you should be supportive. It makes them feel that it is okay to say or do something that isn’t acceptable.

No matter how bad the fight is, it shouldn’t be allowed to spiral out of control. You need your children to know that your love them no matter what. Although you may think when they first start, it doesn’t matter.



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